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II-High by AyeAye12

pt.3 by sadlittlejasmine


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Submitted on
April 18
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in you, find:
repetition,
cut lines,
dash-and-enjam
bment;

a woe
of honesty wringing
the strength from
emotion:

toward the end,
destroyed.
i am having a fight in my head about those god damn punctuation marks
jbfjksnk., skj
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:iconnawkaman:
nawkaman Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014
This reminds me of something I can't place.

Harsh and effective.
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:iconkaitforest:
KaitForest Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014   Writer
thank you :heart:
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:iconfrogeyedape:
frogeyedape Featured By Owner Apr 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I love this! At first I was stuck on the fourth line going "enjam?  enjam? is that like spelling rhyme 'rime'?" And then I shook my head and read on and laughed out loud at "bment" because it just is.

I'm wresting with the middle part because it's this really powerful juxtaposition but I keep thinking that "wringing the strength of emotion" should be "wringing the strength from emotion."  I don't know if I'm missing the point of the stanza (!!), so I was just wondering what you were thinking when you were writing the line?

I like the punctuation you used.  I got a little stuck on the second colon because I wasn't sure whether it was the woe or the strength that were being destroyed toward the end, but I think I prefer the reading where it's the woe that's destroyed.  It's sort of like the woe of honesty (gorgeous line, by the way) is wringing out emotions' strength, but it is an emotion, so there's only so much it can do before it destroys itself. 
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:iconkaitforest:
KaitForest Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2014   Writer
thank you! haha. i didn't really pay much attention to the wording of the middle part actually, but i think "from" definitely works better and makes more sense. 

It's sort of like the woe of honesty (gorgeous line, by the way) is wringing out emotions' strength, but it is an emotion, so there's only so much it can do before it destroys itself. that's exactly it.

(i enjoyed reading your comment so much thank you lovely :heart:)
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:iconfrogeyedape:
frogeyedape Featured By Owner Apr 20, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Sure thing! It's a truly beautiful poem :)
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