[x]

ropehang me from the moon,
i want to be beautiful

fumesthe talk
of my
heart
unfurls,
  wisps

of smoke

1I'm alone
even when the wine is there, even
when it is gone

a love letteri couldn't sleep. there are a lot of things on my mind, and i kept tossing, trying to fling the feelings from me, but they wouldn't leave, so i said to myself, "i'm going to write my fucking heart out, and it's going to feel much like getting slammed by a bus or a train, that immense crash and pain and blackness and the confusion after the hit (do you tumble, crack your head on the pavement or do you die, right there?)" and this is how this letter will go.
i'm scared of losing you. shit scared. i go to bed at night, sure that i have you here, somewhere, whether in my mind or in my heart and i wake up and i can't breathe and god i feel like i've really lost you somewhere, in my dreams or my actions or words unsaid. and god, you don't know what it is like to have a person like you missing from a bitter thing like me. i need you. i am coffee, black and roasted and hard to swallow but you make it so easy. you are my sugar, sweet thing, constant love and nothing else. you make me okay. you

carnivore stainsYOU BECOME HUMAN WHEN YOUR CHEEKS
FLUSH AND YOUR GIGGLES ARE TRAILS
OF INNOCENCE ESCAPING THROUGH YOUR MOUTH.
before that you are a demon.
a purple bruise,
beating and wrinkled creature with eyes
cut into diamond ends that retract the light
placed on it in razor-sharp reflections.
you crawl forth into the world with an aching
squeal that could even make the heavens
bow to their knees,
make your mother bleed
like the first day of Woman.
your nails, nine months grown to fit that
of a clover's lucky leaf, sharpen like nails in the floor-
board, and your mother is a prune in which
her womb is lined with your exit marks.
your nails sweetly trim her bottom-lips
so that you will be the last thing
to break her, the first to make her,
the one to kiss her for
forever.

deflourgod's
got a thing

for women in white dresses,

legs broken and
twisted

like the knot
of a dead man's
noose

note 32
i am

so

terrified

wealth of plundermy body repulses you;
I am the land
you are the sea
and you will never
have me

note 18i am an avalanche,
and you will come
tumbling down
with me

apparitionit's the things that aren't really there that stick in your throat the most.
he had a knack for leaving me for periods at a time, usually in the middle of the night around when morning wasn't to be seen for miles. i'd wake up with the bed empty and my voice gone and people asking me things like, "how long were you together?" as if they hadn't ever known he was there with me that whole time.
his name was taboo for years. i never even had the courage to manage the first consonant of him until three years ago; it was slippery as it fell out of my mouth, almost tugging the whole thing with it. i'd cut it short just after the "w" and left those who were listening in confusion. "what did you say there?" they'd ask.
i was never one to talk of things that i wasn't sure existed, like god or heaven or him. all of his things were gone the morning after he would leave, the house and myself gutted of his existence. who was i to say that he was really there at one point?
"oh, just a stutter," i'd te

i am donei am done
i am done picking you
like berries in a bush,
hoping to find what might
exist behind the flora,
possible markers of rose-lipped
beauty.
instead
you are a bruise
on a thorny vine,
filled with poison.
i do not want you.

raw collection of poemsand i am missing you
and i am fucking
with you
---
when you climb into bed, think of me. the
rosary that downs the bottom of your
drawer is a silly reminder of what i had
taken from you
---
cold
ice cold and his
fingers
ventilation;
i was warm
---
i look at myself and i see lines
impending on themselves
bending from the weight of my soul.
i am heavy
i am middle-afternoon
and-you're-still-missing heavy
and i can't uncurl myself
from the telephone or the
idea of you
leaving
---
we work like polar
but i swear to god i was meant to
meld with you;
you go north
and i south,
departing
thwarting what we built
between force fields
---
i look at my self and i see lines,
cracks in the mirror
all down my thighs where you
broke me in two
i will come back together
one day
(only to be
split back a
part by you)
come home, come
home, come
back
---
i need early morning
i need lack of sleep
and i need the cold
curling me
to my soul
just to stop
the world siphoning the
air from me
---
i am not doing

on hearts and how they beathe says it like
dropping a stack of plates.
the plates are his heart
and i am gravity
and i am the earth that catches
them and scatters them around

infectiousi find myself
reusing the words
my father once
gave to me:
i am a useless bastard, you
deserve so much more.

verbatim, i sing
along the string
of my vertebra--
the vortex that
scatters you to
the floor.
i was not born
a beast, but born
of
and grown.
leave me.
i am not your lover,
i am your cancer:
with me you
will be carrion cast
onto the lawn
by morning.

abortionI.
there is a story
about a girl
who throws herself down the stairs, because her
baby's father is her father and she can't have her sibling
also her kid.
it ends
with her becoming a harlot
that the world can fondle
when ever it pleases.

II.
there is a story of a girl
who sits in the clinic, waiting
to be probed by the doctor
and carved out like a turkey
by the assistants.
she is thinking that
the world has always disliked killing babies
even though
they have made it simpler.

it ends with her
leaving empty.

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note 52i don't know how to properly
wrap my love: either
in words
or whips

pacificher longbow mouth is un-
strung; loose bottom
lip with a cocked
jaw -
.
she
births into him like
a womb

note 51we'll meet in the north somewhere
bus-tired, train-worn, back-seat
bent from sitting so long.
we'll meet here because it is far enough
to make you forget that i am a chance
with too many losses, far enough for me
not to be called back

hvirfilbylurin the morning i throb
against a lilac bruise
from the ache i've
carried for you

what if i said i wake up and i look at you
and your skin has not blackened
from disuse, has not paled from
neglect and still
i find perfection in the way
your arms hang like
a willow and the
arch of your back
and the width of
your ribs like a
marrow-cage
for me
what if i said i loved you?

note 48i've hit the part
where you say
'i'm leaving' and
i don't ask you
to stay

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Submitted: January 12
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note 28

by *KaitForest, Jan 12, 2013, 9:39:59 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

you are beauty
written over and over

note 28by *KaitForest

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

©2013 *KaitForest

i have this recurring fear that visits at night
there are things i don't know, and i'm afraid
of what i will do.

but these things of you i know, and i can
trust in their solidity; stationary, unchanging
facts

even if we are not

~~love 0 0~~

~~joy 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~silver-ships-fly Jan 15, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

i always do love your notes

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*KaitForest Jan 15, 2013 Writer

that makes me so happy

Reply

=KissTheSunrise Jan 13, 2013

hi kait, nice thought, flash poem.

hope you're doing better.

Reply

*KaitForest Jan 13, 2013 Writer

<3 thank you, and i am

Reply

=KissTheSunrise Jan 15, 2013

you're welcome. i'm glad to hear that,

ya had me worried.

Reply

*KaitForest Jan 15, 2013 Writer

aw, love, thanks! how are you?

Reply

Mood: Shocked

=KissTheSunrise Jan 16, 2013

you're welcome! (:

seriously? i don't think you really wanna know that. it'd take a long time to explain.
the short answer is: i'm fucking crazy! but nobody wants to hear that, so i'm good. lol

Reply

*KaitForest Jan 17, 2013 Writer

you can message me any time, i'm a great person to rant to! i don't mind, but i'm glad you're 'good' (i hope you are, even a little bit!)

Reply

=KissTheSunrise Jan 19, 2013

thanks kait.

i knew that, you told me last summer
which seems like forever ago. you may think you're a
asdfghjkl or a erwertyujm, but you're really not.
you're kind and compassionate, at least you've always
treated me that way and i thank you for it. <3
i'll write to you soon. i'm good enough i suppose
better now that it's the weekend. i can rest a lil bit.

Reply

*KaitForest Jan 21, 2013 Writer

it does feel like forever ago! but it is not. i don't change much

haha- perfect words! thank you, it means a lot:3
of course<3 you're a wonderful person and i enjoy chatting with you so much.
<3 that's good

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