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Submitted on
June 2, 2013
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because i am in love 

florid girls
where are the boys? that's a good fucking question

burn our souls by TheNightSheDied she burned like the sun by TheNightSheDied tree of knowledge II by TheNightSheDied :thumb370036100: :thumb361477388: 





feature
festerdear [      ],
i believed for an eon that no one
could love me. could want to take care
of vermin, diseased and dragging its
rabies through the streets. and then
the sun came up
one day and i
began to labor,
my tools a hammer
and chisel to
chip away at this
ratshell and here
you are, a man on whom i have used
every available bit of ammunition:
my friendship, my feather fingers,
my bear hugs, my body, the searching
lock of my eyes clicking into yours
(trust, i've heard it called, pure
as mountain water). and here you are
confirming my worst fear: that the
delirious colicthroated me was right.
dear hannah,
he will never really want you. mike
said, sitting at the bar, that he and
she were going to happen. he said that
it makes sense. he said he has a sense
for these things. and if he is so empathetic,
then he is kind to have so politely
ignored the scream congesting my lungs
like pollen like insecurity. and he is
right, maybe. and the boy doesn't understand
that you have be
   I'm a little hung up on that, seethere's a lot to be
said
for the minutes that i spend
sitting like an idiot
with the phone
to my ear
in silence
after you disconnect
  i was number sevencan i crawl
through the lapse
in your bones,
settle as a heavy weight
in your lungs,
so you feel me when you breathe,
like
pneumonia?
   Devious Journal Entrythe skin under the sunken eyes---eyes burrowed deep in the skull by sleep, and eyes sinkin in dreadfuls of water---is pebbly, purple, and thin.
and yet silent lips rasp and throats hum and pale skin gleams a feverish blue, saying yes, i may not be healthy, but i am not yet giving in .
one more knobble-knuckled finger pressing down a typekey or a string to the throat to the mouth of someone that loves you. one more stuttered laugh or epitaph or photograph, through a tea-strained cracked whispered voice, giving proof and asking for an alibi, asking please, please see, please love me, please see me and listen and cup the back of my neck like the wreck of the lip of your old favourite mug. i am still alive. i am still alive
   pulseand it is like fingertips
tracing the line of my spine
and how it buckles and buckles
and twists over and over on itself
and this is just a dream
it is a dream
vividity
vivaciousness
vivisection
imagine
here
a moment within a moment
between moments
and how
how light
the sky breathes.
pause. pulse.
because it is only ever
a contest to be smallest,
to wither, to shrink
between atoms and
echo myself
the peeling paint is
a symbol. i will grow.
i will engulf this world.
  NI was recorded
in clouds of ink, plumed amongst
seas
of paper;
a rogue
protostellar formation
floating in an abyss
of light.
  flooded, craving droughtjealousy doesn't burn. it paces floors
incessantly and i kneel at the doorway
of its opulent raggedy hallway without a
say in the muttering (of course, i am
always waiting for good tidings with
my bouncing knees, with my hands tucked
beneath my thighs) in the gore (throat
sweating blood like condensation like it
has nudged its way out the back door,
stifled from the restraint of not screaming)
has no say in the whittling (fingers are
extraneous and he doesn't need your touch.
but you offered it). jealousy is solitary
confinement, the white wash of it lily and
linened and longitudinal, spanning the map
of me, no pond or penisula unlashed. driving
me mad with its fisheye swallow of this murky
room. and where she walks, i wilt; and where
my palms fail to cradle capture cup the water
of your attention, she manages and drinks deep.

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:icontouristeyes:
touristEYES Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
red hair; i wholeheartedly agree.
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:iconkaitforest:
KaitForest Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013   Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconfuzzyhoser:
FuzzyHoser Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Gorgeous feature. Red things are glorious things. (:
Reply
:iconkaitforest:
KaitForest Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013   Writer
yes they are <3
Reply
:iconnawkaman:
nawkaman Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013
Thank you for the feature :love:
Reply
:iconkaitforest:
KaitForest Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013   Writer
of course :heart:
Reply
:iconnikopul:
nikopul Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
envy :stare:
Reply
:iconkaitforest:
KaitForest Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013   Writer
yes :stare:
Reply
:iconnikopul:
nikopul Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
it's sin
Reply
:iconfervvent:
fervvent Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
this makes me wish i had my mom's red hair


there are some fucking attractive ginger boys at my school though ugh


also florid is a beautiful fucking word and i don't know how i've never heard it before




(thanks for featuring me :heart:)
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